After 3 long years of infertility treatments, doubts, worries and interrogations, we are heading for a new parenting adventure. In a few months, we’ll welcome our 3rd baby !
Week after week, in an honest and open manner, I share with you my pregnancy journal.
4 weeks of pregnancy
Just to write this number, it was a tricky calculation… The embryo began his/her life without me and more than one year ago so calculating the number of pregnancy week is a very conceptual exercise!
Anyway, tomorrow, I’ll be 4 weeks pregnant!
How big is the baby?
Just like a mustard seed (4/5mm)
Something special this week?
Obviously discovering I was pregnant!
Since I’ve begun my hormonal treatment I have had all the pregnancy symptoms (painful breasts, nonstop nauseas, exhaustion…). It was really hard for me to trust all these signs. Besides, in an IVF, you want to believe and at the same, with only 26% of chance to succeed, you don’t want to believe too much to avoid being disappointed.
I was supposed to take the blood test 15 days after the embryo transfer but as it was the day I’m at the hospital with Little H I took the risk to do it one earlier (because I couldn’t wait one more day until the date!)
When I received the email on my smartphone, I took my husband apart to read together the blood results and how to understand them (the hospital gave me a grid with the UI rates to read the result properly). Unlike my two previous pregnancies where I was the first to know the result, I was so happy we could know together !
Most challenging moment?
Moving from the IVF anxiety to the first term fears.
The joy of IVF worked disappeared very quickly with the understanding it’s just the very beginning of the pregnancy and this new life is so fragile for at least 3 months we have to be very careful about it.
Most exciting moment?
Doing a « real » pregnancy test !
After a few days, I’ve come to realize the blood test didn’t help me to realize I was pregnant. I went to the pharmacy to buy a test and it was exactly what I needed! Watching this thick line becoming immediately blue made me realize I was really pregnant. After so many negative test thrown way, seeing this one so clear, (much more than the boys’) was such a joy !
What’s new doctor ?
Every pregnancy symptom !
I believe the high doses of progesterone and estrogens are not helping with that. I feel nauseated all the time, my taste has changed and I’m very conscious of any sense. I dislike some and love others and it keeps changing. I didn’t have any nauseas for Mr A and Little H so it’s a real change !
Which is a lot, especially when you have some overweight.
With all the nauseas, I was snacking a lot (which can explain the weight, even if I know I always gain weight with the progesteron). I’ve bought some healthy snacks (almonds, goji … ) and I’m trying to eat less but more often (no dessert at lunch and a snack in the afternoon). For Little H, I had diabetes so I looked for my little booklet to help me reduce (cutting ?) sugar.
Back to school and the end of the lock down means I went on bicycle. Between 3 and 10 km depending on the day at a city pace.
And of course, carrying everywhere my Little H’s 18kgs ! But nothing much more !
This week, I was teaching my last class for my students so I had a purpose.
But after that, when I’ve come to realize how much I have to do after the 3 weeks of the lockdown, I’m panicking !
Self Care ?
Sleeping as much as possible !
I’m so tired all the time and feel easily dizzy so I rest during the day. And in the evening I really try to go to bed early, especially since I know it’s going to be hard to fall asleep.
If we keep this pregnancy secret for now, I really love to be able to share the good news with my inner circle who knows about our difficulties and interrogations of these past few months.
For Mr A, we kept the secret total for 3 months which was really exciting and terrible at the same time. For Little H, we had to give it away very early for some reasons.
This time, I really love the idea of being able to find comfort in other people than my husband. To be able to share my joy and my fears with them whereas we keep the secret for the big majority of our friends and family.
I feel more serene and less anxious about the topic because waiting for July seems so hard for now!