Kriszta is mum of two young children of 7 and 3 years old.
This vibrant woman coming from Hungary is a young Doula and I immediately loved her kind and joyful way to consider motherhood ! I learned about the Doula part when I was reading American or Australian Mums’ testimonials on Your Zen Mama. I was very curious by the way they lived their maternity and how they consider motherhood from an holistic point of view. It is quite the opposite of how I lived maternity in France, which is mainly a medical support.
This is how I learned about the 4th trimester, the post-partum… so many precious things that could have helped me to go through my two maternitys with more kindness as a woman !
It is with great pleasure I introduce you to this not so well-known profession and to this beautiful person who is Kriszta. You can know more about her on her website Krisztalide and follow her on her social media if you want some more positive vibes (and she speaks English very well too).
You are Doula in the Parisian suburbs but before that you used to work in a bank office.
Can you tell us more about your change of career and why you went back to school with two young kids?
For a very long time, I had no idea what I would like to do « when I’ll be grown up ». After my studies, I began to work at the bank because I had an amazing opportunity. At first, I thought I would make a career there, even if I didn’t really belong there.
And one day, I became a mum. As for many women, it has been life changing. I’ve worked deep down on myself, without realizing it at first. Then it became clearer I was focused on my self-development.
That’s how my passion was born.
Usually, I invest myself in my hobby for 3 or 4 days but it was different. It has been 7 years now I read everything I can about perinatology with fascination.
That’s my calling and I made it my job.
Can you tell us more about your job as a Doula, since it is not well-known in France?
I discovered the Doula word in 2017. I trained myself in 2018. At that time, I had to explain with many details what I was doing. In 2021, Doula is a more and more well-known word. Nowadays, people usually tell me “Ah yes, I heard about it, what is it exactly?”
Doula is a job to support people. We are here to support the mother-to-be and the new mothers (and their partner of course!).
We are here to support the mother-to-be and the new mothers (and their partner of course!). If French women are well taken care of from a medical point of view, in our western societies, there is a big need in the moral and emotional support all along the pregnancy, especially after giving birth.
We try to fulfill this need. We offer this safe place to listen to mothers and mothers to be. They can express themselves freely. We welcome them and their emotions with kindness. We have a lot of tools and methods to help them according to their need. We answer their questions. But we don’t advise them, we let them process their own thoughts about labor or parenting.
What do you love most in what you do?
I really like when women recover their serenity.
When I arrive at an appointment, there are usually a lot of questions and sometimes tensions and stress. We, European women are not used to having someone listening actively to us, without judging nor cutting us off, without telling her a “better personal story” nor giving us “great advice”.
While I’m here, I try to create this positive environment where a woman feels confident enough to access her own creativity.
Progressively, the atmosphere is more relaxed, the woman finds herself her own solutions and gains self confidence. They usually tell me about it. And this is my favorite moment, the very reason why I’m doing that job.
Being from Hungary, how did you live your multicultural maternity ? Did you see some differences between France and Hungary ?
I have lived in France for now 15 years. Before I wasn’t interested in maternity and no one in my acquaintances was concerned about it. Since then my Hungarian friends told me about their childbirth. There are indeed many differences in the support but I won’t tell one country is better to the other.
Can you share your best advice on believing in yourself and pursuing your dreams?
Even in my previous job I saw many projects or dreams. The successful projects were the ones where the project holders were really in it.
I think when you really believe in your dream to make it true, you win it. Living your dream H24, 7/7 is something you notice and can feel.
If you could talk to your younger self, what would you tell yourself?
Be patient. Trust yourself ! Enjoy every moment of the journey.
Is there something in your career you are particularly proud of?
I’m proud of every path of my journey.
But I’m very proud to have found what drives me and to have done everything necessary to realize my goals.
Besides, I feel useful to the community. That is one of my highest values.
Your job demands you to be very available to support the mothers-to-be and young mothers. How do you juggle with your career and being the Mum of two young children ?
It is really hard.
My objective was to reconcile my professional and personal life. I really care if they are well-balanced and in harmony. This is an every-day fight. Someday, it is in favor of one side, the other day to the other.
I try to do my best for everyone.
Is there something you don't tell enough to you ?
I have the feeling I don’t do enough top stop and enjoy. And yet…
When you are having a bad day, how do you overcome it?
Sometimes I can’t. But I usually seek inspiration around me. I try to surround myself with positive vibes and thoughts. This is what motivates me. I am 40 years old now.
Now, I’ve understood everything is cyclical. After the rain, the sun (usually) comes back.
Do you believe in kindness? What does it mean to you?
This my main driver. When I see the positive impact of kindness on children, on the Mums I support, on the stranger you have a kind gesture, I strongly believe there is only Love and Kindness that make sense in this world.
Being kind, it’s accepting the other as he/she is, without wanting to change, to “improve” or to influence him/her, only to trust him/her.
What is the kindest thing someone has done for you?
I am so lucky to be surrounded by people who love me, who trust me and support me in the long term. Persistant loving is the kindest thing my close circle offers me.
How can we develop more kindness in our everyday lives ?
We have to practice on a daily basis without expectation.
A smile, a helping hand, a kind word, just like that, for no reason. Even to strangers. Some will be surprised, even suspicious because they aren’t used to it, but sometimes this positive energy bounces back on the other and we can even enjoy it too.
How can we, girls & women, stand together, support each other rather than being jealous of each other and tearing us down as it is usually experienced in our society?
I must confess I haven’t found the answer to the question yet. What I know is successful women (and men) like to see others succeed or get ahead. It may be a way forward…
What values do you admire most in the women that you surround yourself with?
The serene strength.
I know two mums in my circles who, according to me, are always zen, you can’t destabilize them. They are even-tempered and deal with difficulties with ease. This is how I see them. And, you usually admire qualities you don’t have.
I usually deal easily with day-to-day problems, but on an emotional level, it costs me a lot of my energy.
If you had the opportunity to reach every girl and woman around the world, what would you say to inspire or encourage them?
Self care, self love are altruistics acts, despite what people think.
It’s only being on an emotional balance you can really help others.
Your self-love ritual?
Enjoying my cofee
Your most inspiring human being?
I can’t chose only one. But I love success stories in my professional life as personnal life.
Your favorite book ?
Paulo Coelho : The Alchimist
Your comfort food?
Sugar… but it’s nooooooooooot good !!!!!
Your happy song ?
The mantra that inspires you?