What week ?
Week 12
How big is the baby ?
No weighting this week but our little boy is doing fine. We’ll have some numbers next week for his 3 months appointments.
What's new this week ?
Petit F is such a flirt.
His “ageuh”, his smiles, his joyful cries are so irresistible, especially when he sees a smiling face !
After discovering last week his baby mobile, now it’s the activity mat ! It wasn’t love at first time but now, Petit F has accepted the bunny and the squirrel company. He doesn’t stay long on the floor but it’s the beginning of a future far from my arms.
I shouldn’t say it too loud but Petit F has a quite nice sleeping rhythm now : 23h-9h. It is such a nice change !
Favorite moment ?
Petit F got to meet his grandparents !
This is the first time my parents came to see him and Petit F was charming – of course !
Little H and Mr A enjoyed their visit too. It was very moving to see my mother spending special time with Little H.
For me, it was comforting to use extra pairs of arms to carry Petit F who can’t have enough of mine !
Most challenging moment ?
I had a complete meltdown at the beginning of the week.
The physical and mental exhaustion of these last months, in addition to going back to work in 3 months made me collapse.
Writing down my feelings really helped me to calm down and take some perspective of my situation. I’ve posted them on Instagram and I received so much love and kindness ! What moved me are the private messages I received from other mums, who are also exhausted …
Parental burn out, Postpartum depression, exhaustion…
I’m not sure which one I’m struggling with but it hurts.
Motherhood is amazing. I love my sons so much they are all my life and I can’t be grateful enough for my boys. They are my everything.
But it’s hard.
Sleepless nights.
Caring for a newborn.
Trying to readapt myself to my postpartum body.
Having every part of my body hurting from carrying and nursing my baby : my back, my shoulders, my breast.
Being covered all the time by milk, vomit and hair.
Haven’t slept in my own bed for months.
Still wearing maternity clothes.
Having a disabled child with unknown chromosomal aberration.
Struggling with paperwork for him.
Applying, looking for special structures that doesn’t exist.
Being asked to project myself months ( years!) ahead whereas I have not a clue how to deal with my week.
Dealing with a pre-teenager…
Going back to work in 3 weeks.
Finding a new rythm and routine.
Adaptating my baby to daycare
Dealing with breastfeeding while working
Resuming my small business, finding new clients
Going on with my trainings
Adapting my business to my family
Worrying about money
Wondering how to reconnect with the man I love and if we are able to remember us as a couple and not just parents
Being afraid of what’s happening in the world with wars, pandemia and climate crisis.
Being isolated from the few remaining friends we have left and family.
Not going out anymore.
Losing myself as a woman and an individual
Crying so much I don’t even know the reason why.
All this is Life. I’m not complaining. It’s just this journey can be so hard sometimes.
Mama Time
It wasn’t a time just for me but it was my first non-medical go-out for months: I went to listen to Mr A playing with the Bagad.
I was in the front line since I’m now their flag-bearer…
My body
As written above, everything hurts!
My breasts are extra-sensitive. My back and shoulders hurt too and I can’t move in the morning because of sleeping on the couch, carrying Petit F all day and breastfeeding him.
I’m suffering from arthrosis in my fingers and my oedem hasn’t been drained off for 3 months. I’m not at my best.
I’m looking for a better way to carry Petit F to relieve my shoulders a bit. I’ve registered for a wrap baby carrier workshop but it’s only on April 1st…
Nutrition
Still looking for nutritious and fast meals. Since now I wake up at a normal time in the morning, I’m looking for a healthier breakfast too.
What's working ?
Petit F night’s sleep. It’s unbelievable he is now able to live on the day rather than the night. I’m so impressed by our progress over the past weeks.
Reflexions ?
It is so hard for me to imagine I’m going back to work in 3 weeks ! Breastfeeding is working at lasst and I don’t know how to deal when Petit F will be in daycare. And I can’t accept the idea for him to go to the daycare so soon… And I can’t imagine either how to organize our new rhythm and routine …
