I’m week 8 pregnant
How big is the baby?
Big as a raspberry (3 cm)
Something special this week?
I don’t feel anything different this week.
Most challenging moment?
This end of the week. The low energy I felt last week became something deeper as a loss of desires and any motivations.
Most exciting moment?
Last weekend my brother came to visit. More than two years without seeing each other!
As he took his bicycle with him, all 5 of us went for a ride in the countryside. The purpose was to build some wooden huts in the forest. Mr A was so happy and even Little H laughed a lot, chasing his brother and falling on the uneven ground ! It was a really lovely moment !
What’s new doctor?
1st trimester routine : painful breast, disgust for eating, huge fatigue …
If I feel less nauseated, every meal still seems gross to me. But for a few days, I’m craving cottage cheese ! I used not to eat a lot of dairy products but now I crave the salted and fresh taste of the cheese on a slice of bread …
Since we still don’t have our car back, it’s only biking ! (even with all the rain).
To my daily trips, I’ll add this weekend ride in the countryside !
Not at all.
Getting up to bed in the morning is painful. I feel like an automaton doing its task but nothing more. The things I used to love (painting, journaling, writing…) don’t interest me anymore.
Self Care ?
Without any motivation, it is very tempting to only nap and sleep all day (when I have no kids nor appointments). This is what worries me most.
If people talk more and more about postpartum depression, we talk less of prenatal depression. However 18% of expecting women suffer from light depression and between 7-12% suffer from mild to severe depression. For these women the guilt is the strongest as they are carrying life. They are supposed to be happy and glowing !
As far as I’m concerned, I really feel this guilt of not being happy and radiant since this pregnancy is the happy ending of 3 years of fighting. However, as I already had depression, I can’t miss the signs : the ever-present sadness or the lack of interest in my usual activities. This week, the most painful topic was to plan our summer vacation. It is always a tricky subject as we are far from our family and it is always a logistic puzzle where we always have to find some consensus.
I don’t know if I am in depression but I see enough symptoms not to ignore them.
As the things that used to recharge me (yoga, meditation, painting, journaling) don’t work anymore, I know I can’t deal with my mental health alone. I have to seek some help : contacting my psychiatrist, asking for help from my closest circle are the first things I have to do to not let the situation get worse.